


Making Something Out of Nothing

by UsernameOK



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bisexual Female Character, Canon-Typical Violence, Coming of Age, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Friendship/Love, Hidden Depths, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Inspired by Real Events, Jealousy, Nen (Hunter X Hunter), Obsession, Original Character Death(s), Past Character Death, Possibly Unrequited Love, Psychopaths In Love, Slow Romance, Strangers to Lovers, Strength Kink
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:08:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23272990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UsernameOK/pseuds/UsernameOK
Summary: With a push from an unlikely influence and the support of new friends, Miu discovers it's not too late to jump into the life she never knew she wanted. Between the past she wants to forget and the future she wants to make for herself, Miu supposes there may just be hope for her yet.As for him...she'll just have to wait and see...if she can survive, that is.
Relationships: Hisoka/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm revamping this work. Enjoy.

Miu slows down her pace before she passes the group of men lingering in front of Mr. Weiss’ store; they call out to her with the usual vaguely threatening comments just before she can close the door behind her, the little bell hanging overhead. Mr. Weiss grumbles about calling the police on the ‘loitering thugs’, but Miu just ignores him in favor of going to change into her uniform. As much as Mr. Weiss’ fussing gets on Miu’s nerves, she still takes a little pride in the fact that she’s the only employee in ten years allowed to use the storage closet as a break room of sorts. Not that it provides much relief from the day to day pains of retail; when Miu checks herself in the mirror and straightens her name tag with a grimace, she’s also taking the time to brace herself for the shift ahead.

The men are still outside of course. One of them alerts Miu to his presence with a loud bang on the window that might have made her jump if she wasn’t already wounded so tight. Mr. Weiss goes in the back with a huff and a half hearted demand Miu be prepared to press the alarm. They haven’t been robbed in a month and he’d like to keep their lucky streak.

Miu does her best to ignore all activity going on outside as she tries to clean up the store. The tile floor has long since turned from white to a sticky beige and half the lights are out. Their open sign says ‘oen’ and the camera monitor is blurry and freezes up when someone moves too fast. The delay in motion is long enough that someone could probably run in, steal something off the rack, and run back out without it even getting picked up at all. 

“Probably taking stock of the place.” Miu mumbles; she can see the men out of her peripheral vision as she restocks the candy aisle. “They’ll just bust in later anyway. What’s the point of having this security junk when it doesn’t do a damn thing?”

Stupidly, Miu supposes they might really just be hanging out by the store. It’s possible. There’s not much to do in town and nowhere worth going. Everyone who does come into the convenience store is doing it for just that: it’s an easy place to grab a few essentials at a decent enough price located in an area away from the worst parts of town, though some might argue every part of town is the ‘bad’ part of it. 

“Just one big rotten junk yard that people shamble through or around.”

Miu stands on her tiptoes to put the second to last box of snack cakes in their proper place. They had a stool, but one of the legs broke and Mr. Weiss hasn’t gotten around to fixing it. 

“Just one more.”

Miu grunts and stretches her arm as far as it will go; hopefully no customers will come in and ask her to take them down anytime soon.

“Excuse me?”

Miu fights the urge to curse under her breath; she’s really straining her limbs now. “Just a second sir, sorry-”

The box is plucked from her grasp just as Miu takes a sort of jump to reach the top of the shelf; she loses what balance she had. The man watches with a smile as Miu falls into the hard candy display behind her and a few packages are knocked from their hooks. Miu hisses sharply as she rights her posture; her shoulder feels like it stings, likely from the ends of one of the hooks scraping her skin. 

“My, how clumsy. You ought to be more careful.”

Miu gives him a look. “It’s not like I did it on purpose-”

“Are you going to service me? Or do you plan to just sit there when a customer needs assistance?”

The man is looking down at her through narrowed eyes, smiling wide as he puts the snack cake box right on the shelf with little effort. Miu still has to look up at him when she’s standing.

“I-!”

What was meant to be a dry retort falls away as Miu takes in the man’s appearance for the first time.

“Huh.”

“Hm?”

Miu cocks her head a little and squints her eyes. “Is the circus in town? Here?”

“Rude too I see.” The smile is wiped off the man’s face for a brief moment, but only for that split second.

“Uh, sorry. Are you not a…? I mean, no offense, but we don’t get a lot of people with….” Miu searches for words to dig herself out of this awkward conversation. “Anyway, what can I help you with?”

“A few things. For now I’ll settle with Bungee Gum.”

Impossible as it seems, Miu feels even more confused. 

“Bungee...oh, we don’t carry that brand anymore. It was recalled just after our last shipment actually.” 

“What a shame.”

The man looks actually disappointed. 

_ “How childish.” _

“Um, well…” Miu pauses and looks behind her. Mr. Weiss is locked in his office; there’s no windows looking into the store and he’s likely focused on the shipping paperwork and trying to pretend he’s anywhere else but there. 

“Hold on a second.”

The man is still standing exactly where Miu left him when she returns with a few boxes piled in her arms. 

“It got recalled in the first place because some kid choked on a pack doing some stunt.” Miu explains as she holds out the boxes. “It is technically expired, but the actual candy is still edible for another year.”

“You don’t say?”

“Really. A lot of food items are still edible past their expiration date, it’s just policy not to sell them, ya know? I get to take home a lot of things myself so they don’t go to waste.” Miu grins. “Saves money on the grocery bill anyway.”

“And you’re just giving me these?”

“Sure. Call it thanks for helping me out there.” Miu nods to the top shelf. “Besides, they’ll just go to waste otherwise.”

“If you insist.”

The boxes are lifted from Miu’s grasp with ease, almost like they were being levitated. 

“Anything else you need help with?” Miu asks before she remembers he already mentioned there was more than one thing.

“Not at the moment.”

“Then when?”

Before Miu can apologize for her admittedly rude reply, the man chuckles. It seems he finds her more amusing than offensive.

“Impatient too….Miu?” 

“Miu Morine.” 

“Hisoka the magician, at your service.” 

Miu stifles a laugh; he actually gives a little bow. Though it might have actually been stranger if he hadn’t, what with the get up he was wearing. 

“Um, Hisoka?” Miu glances outside the window; the men seem to have left. That or they decided to lie in wait for the next customer to come out. “You’re not from around here, are you? It’s no skin off my nose, but...you might attract the wrong attention if you get my drift?”

“Oh?”

Miu nods. “People here will look for any excuse to start shit, especially with people from the wrong side of the street. In your case...well, I’d just get out of this area as soon as you can.”

“Scary.” Hisoka is currently busy unwrapping a piece of gum.

“I’m serious. Guys like them sometimes hang out by the store all day just bugging people. You’re probably going to be my only customer today. Hey, are you listening?”

Hisoka ignores her question, picks at his nails and flicks the dirt away. His nails are more like claws. Miu actually has to make herself not stare; he’s just too strange looking. Every second Miu gets to take in Hisoka, there’s more oddities to catch her attention.

“I doubt anyone here is going to give me too much trouble.”

“I think you’d be smarter trying to avoid trouble all together.”

“So in other words, avoiding any fun.”

Miu isn’t sure whether Hisoka means that as an insult or just a general assessment of what he considers ‘fun’. She turns her back on Hisoka to start cleaning up the mess she had made knocking into the candy display. 

“I’d rather be alive.”

“So what’s a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?”

“I work here.” Miu puts a hand on her hip. “I need to make a living somehow.”

“Why here?”

Miu glances at Mr. Weiss’ office door; it sounds like he’s busy on the phone. Hisoka waits for an answer as he smacks his gum.

“You don’t need a degree to work at a convenience store.” Miu says quietly as she places the bags on their correct hooks. “And I don’t need a car to get here.”

“Why?”

“I can jog.”

“Why?”

Miu slowly turns around at the feeling of air blowing back the ends of her hair. Hisoka is blowing a bubble dangerously close to her hair. She flinches back as it pops.

“Hey!”

Hisoka licks a glob of the gum off his bottom lip. “Sorry.”

Miu gathers her best customer service tone. “If you don’t need help with anything else, I should really get back to the register.”

“Of course, of course.” Hisoka gestures to the boxes of gum held under his arm. “Thank you for your generosity.”

“No problem.”

With that, Miu gives him a half smile before moving back to the counter. She really does have to get back to her station before Mr. Weiss thinks she’s slacking off and socializing when she’s meant to be on her guard in case of trouble.

“Oh by the way,” Hisoka stops just an inch from the door. “I should apologize for the mess I left in front of your business. They were just so noisy.”

“What?”

“Until next time, Miu. My card.”

Without warning, Hisoka carelessly tosses the afformented card at Miu, who flails trying to catch it. But there’s no name or number on the front or back. When Miu looks back up, Hisoka is already out the door.

“Wait!”

Miu rises from her chair to follow after him, fully intending to get an explanation for just what mess he left her to clean up. As soon as Miu reaches the door herself, Hisoka is gone from view. But the answer to her question is the sight of the battered and bloody bodies he had left behind; it was more than enough to distract Miu from any attempts to look for him. 

Mr. Weiss demands to know exactly what happened only once the bodies are taken away and Miu is sitting back behind the counter with a cup of hot tea. It’s an odd day in the neighborhood to be sure. Never before had there been so many people by their store, dozens of gawkers, all talking amongst themselves and having to be told to step back so the medical examiners could do their job. 

Violence is not uncommon there, but to have the bodies left in such a gruesome display is beyond anything Miu’s ever seen. 

“Miu?”

There was blood still staining the sidewalk. She had almost stepped in it.

“Miu, talk to me.” Mr. Weiss sounds genuinely concerned. His voice is at least quieter than Miu has ever heard him speak. “Don’t lose your nerve on me now. You didn’t want to tell the cops, right? But you can tell me, can’t you? What happened?”

The tea in Miu’s hands is almost lukewarm now. It’s black tea, but in this light, the color is more a rusty brown. Like dried blood. 

Like the flakes under Hisoka’s nails.

“The bell.”

“Bell? What bell?”

“Above the door. It never rang.”

“So? Nothing in this dump works. Look, take a few minutes and finish your tea.”

Mr. Weiss walks away to finish locking up for the night, seemingly deciding it was best to leave Miu alone. She supposed her boss had forgotten the bell was just that; a cheap little bell attached on a string above their door. Simple and old fashioned, but reliable.

It was an easy way to hear if anyone goes in or out of the store, but if Miu recalls, no such sound was heard before Hisoka had made his presence known. 

_ “I never even heard footsteps. I didn’t know he was there until he spoke.” _

If that wasn’t strange enough, Miu is positive the bell failed to chime following Hisoka’s disappearing act.

_ “But he went out the door. He did...I saw him…” _

The tea is left stone cold on the counter, next to the ace of hearts playing card.


	2. Chapter 2

Every morning Miu spends about half an hour jogging around her complex and then straight on to the convenience store. It figures the one day she decides to stray from that routine, it’s the same day something else unusual would happen.

That morning, Miu had woken up feeling restless. She figured she needed a change of scene; she thought it wouldn’t be too much of a risk to diverge from her route and make a turn into the park. It wasn’t much of a park; everything in her complex is all but dilapidated. Fortunately, the most bare essentials manage to work. From the outside, Miu’s building in particular appears deserted, which was half true. Miu is the only tenant left now.

It’s certainly not much to look at; regardless, it’s home and it’s the only one Miu has ever known. She supposes she’ll have to leave eventually, but there isn’t any reason to go. There’s a roof over her head and a convenient way to make money to provide for herself. It’s enough and Miu feels secure in what little she had going for her there.

At least, that was how Miu felt until that morning. Everything made sense until she felt this pull dragging her feet from the beaten path, just a little ways away, but enough to stray. Miu had forgotten all about it by the time Hisoka had showed up in her store.

“How did he do that?”

Miu stared accusingly at the little bell, innocently hanging over the door. Every day since, Miu listened for the chime and it came as it always had. Despite Mr. Weiss’ scoffing and eye rolls, Miu went so far as to examine the string and the door, just to make sure nothing was amiss. Hisoka did say he was a magician. 

“It feels like a trick, that’s for sure.”

“Hey, shut up and get to work!” 

“I am working!”

Mr. Weiss poked his head further outside of his office. “I don’t see working, I see a crazy lady talking to herself. Go sweep the floor or something, stock the shelves; you can have one sided conversations on your own time.”

Miu rolled her eyes just as the door slammed shut. The little office wasn’t much, but it was hardly easy to hear muttering on the other side. Then again, maybe Miu really is just that predictable. At any rate, she doesn’t have much else to do, so Miu grabs their badly battered broom and begins to swipe under the shelves for dust bunnies. She can do this much; Miu hates to admit it, but she does feel she owes Mr. Weiss a debt. A small one good for a favor or two anyway.

Mr. Weiss hadn’t pushed Miu for details since that day. The medical examiners and the cops barely even questioned her; after all, what did it matter if some trouble makers got what was coming to them? Still, Miu couldn’t believe how quickly people seemed to get over how gruesome the scene was; it reminded her of something out of a horror movie. Those men had been slaughtered and left in a heap like trash. If Miu wasn’t on edge before, she was now. 

On her morning runs, Miu finds herself constantly looking over her shoulder and listening for any strange noises, any sign of something not quite right. She’s been waiting for the same feeling she had that morning.

_ “It was more than restlessness...it was dread. I felt suffocated. I wanted to escape...but why? There’s nothing to run from.” _

The gentle chime of a bell rouses Miu from her thoughts. She breathes in and tries to bring herself back to reality; she still has a job to do. It was useless thinking about what had happened. It wasn’t like Hisoka had done anything to threaten her. Chances are, Miu would never actually see him again.

“Good morning.” Miu’s smile falls from her face. The smile aimed at her was considerably less sincere. How Miu had missed it before, she didn’t know. 

“Good morning, Miu Morine. Long time no see.” 

Hisoka walks past her, not seeming to notice or care about the sudden tension in Miu’s face and posture when he moves toward her. 

“Did you celebrate the new year coming in? Or did you sleep through all the festivities?” Hisoka idly thumbs through a newspaper that was actually from a day before. “Haven’t you restocked today’s? Not the best start to the new year.”

Miu almost dropped her broom. “Hisoka? What are you doing here? You-the cops, they-”

“Are you referring to that little scuffle from the other month?” Hisoka licks his thumb, leafing past the front page news to the.

“Scuffle? You-!” Miu put a hand to her mouth to look over at Mr. Weiss’ office before lowering her voice. “More like slaughter; the cops do still come by every now and then. What if someone calls them or they see you here?”

Hisoka chuckles; he’s reading the comics. “Why on earth would they do a thing like that?”

“Because you killed five people!”

Hisoka looked up from the page he was on. “Oh that. No worries, I’m a Hunter. The authorities have no authority over my actions. Well, in most cases anyway.”

Miu’s mouth hung open. “A Hunter? You?”

“Is that so hard to believe?”

“I thought you were a magician.”

Hisoka’s smile is almost fond. “I am. I think most people dabble in several hobbies.”

Miu stands there silently for a second, not sure how to respond. She had heard of Hunters in passing, but she had never actually met one. Hisoka definitely wasn’t what she thought of when picturing a Hunter.

“I’m surprised.” 

Miu watches like a hawk as Hisoka folds the paper under his arm and finds herself still half lost in thought as he begins to walk down the aisle. His sharp eyes scan the shelves high and low, searching while he speaks.

“What’s surprising?”

“You.”

“Me?” Miu balks. “You’re kidding.”

“Nope. You see, I figured you wouldn’t sense me today, yet you did before.” Hisoka plucks a package of assorted nuts off the display. “Are these buy one get one free?”

“Um, no.”.

“Ah, well. What would you recommend?”

“I...like cookies.”

“Boring, but I suppose it’ll do.” Hisoka picks out a small bag of chocolate chip cookies. “You have a limited selection here.”

Miu wants to tell Hisoka if he feels that way, he could just go to another store, but right now she has more pressing things to address.

“Wait a second, what did you mean by ‘I sensed you’?” Miu walks beside Hisoka trying to match his pace and keep her voice lowered in case Mr. Weiss hears her. 

“Before, while you were running. Your form could use some work by the way; your stamina is impressive though, especially for someone of your size.”

“Where?”

“Where what?”

“Where were you?”

“Around. It’s not a crime to go for a walk, is it?”

But Hisoka couldn’t have been there; Miu’s almost certain. For one, she’s almost positive she would have caught sight of him from miles away, and there was the fact it would have been hard for anyone to hide from her sight. 

There’s no trees or even other buildings that close by Miu’s; for much of the surrounding area, it’s flat, dead grass and concrete and junk. There was simply no place for someone to hide where Miu wouldn’t have seen them automatically.

“I wouldn’t try those if I were you. Anyway, how did you get in here before without ringing the bell?”

Hisoka looks away from the display of stale donuts. “Pardon?”

“You walked in here before without setting off that bell.” Miu pointed to said chime above the door. “How did you do that? And how did you...kill those guys?”

“It wasn’t hard.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Miu’s slight fear was fading with irritation. “Why did you even kill them?”

“They started it.” Hisoka replied as if the matter was settled. “Can you ring me up? I really must be on my way.”

Miu feels a bit weird turning her back to get to the register, but realizes she might just be paranoid. Hisoka hasn’t done anything to her; he’s been downright pleasant, if a bit condescending. It didn’t seem like he was planning to hurt her. All Hisoka was doing was shopping for snacks and making small talk. 

_ “That’s what’s so unsettling...how could he do that and then just act like...like nothing happened?”  _ Miu charged the register with Hisoka’s cookies and paper.  _ “Is that normal for Hunters?” _

“Penny for your thoughts?” 

“Oh sorry.” Miu rips the receipt out and holds it toward Hisoka for him to take. 

“I take it you’re not used to having customers.”

Miu smiled sheepishly. “Not exactly. We do get people coming in. Just a bit few and far inbetween...though more and more people who could afford our prices seem to move every day. Most businesses that started here have moved on too.”

“Doesn’t sound promising to stay put.” Hisoka commented. “You’re still so young and full of potential. Really.” he ignores Miu’s chuckle. “On that note, you don’t seem so keen to stick around.”

“What makes you say that?”

“You don’t mean to tell me you actually enjoy living in such a boring, ugly place.”

“Geez, okay, I get it.” Miu pouts. “But who cares? I have what I need, there’s no point leaving.”

“No point? What a silly thing to say. But you are just an ignorant, silly thing yourself. It’s not like you would know what else is out there...” Hisoka cocks his head and stares into Miu’s somewhat miffed glare. “Do you have no sense of adventure? Not a tiny bit of curiosity?”

“I’m doing fine.”

“I can’t imagine anyone finding satisfaction staying put in one place their whole lives, let alone a place like this. The world is vast. Maybe it’s high time you spread your wings and explored it.” 

Miu looked at Hisoka pointedly. She can’t tell whether he’s dispensing serious advice or just mocking her. Maybe it was both. Or neither. Whatever his intentions, Miu wishes Hisoka would get a move on already to wherever he came from. She’s beginning to feel that unsettling sort of anxiety again. It’s almost as if her instincts were anticipating something about to happen before Miu herself even knew it. 

Luckily, Hisoka seemed to understand Miu wasn’t in the mood for more chatter and patronizing summations of her life choices. He thanked her for the receipt and bid her farewell. Miu watched him saunter toward the door, half transfixed on seeing whether the bell would ring and half on Hisoka himself. No matter whether he meant her any harm, Miu couldn’t shake her wariness. 

“Like what you see?”

“No!”

When Hisoka decided to pause and glance over his shoulder, Miu stiffened up immediately. She felt a bit flustered at being caught staring and for her outburst, but the corners of Hisoka’s lips quirked in a crooked sort of half grin. 

“You’re being cautious, aren’t you? I can’t say you’re careless, Miu Morine. Or boring.”

There it was again. That strange little glint. What really made Miu start was his eyes. For all the smiling Hisoka did, Miu had noticed that they never seemed to reach his eyes. They’re chilling, but Miu can’t bring herself to not look. To do that would somehow be worse than backing down from the challenge Hisoka’s direct stares that Miu can’t shake off. The low, lofty voice is perturbingly stern when Hisoka decides to pose his final question for the day.

“Have you honestly never wondered if there was more to you than you think?”


	3. Chapter 3

Left to right, side to side, the same pace with the same intensity. Miu isn’t used to lifting weights, but she’s made progress. Her favorite exercises are for her legs; they’re already solid from walking and jogging. It’s arm day that really tests her patience and it’s taken a while to see any visible results. Miu wasn’t even sure where to begin, aside from purchasing a set of hand weights with some of the pairs missing. They’ll do for what she has in mind though.

“Hey, this isn’t a dojo.”

“I’m on break.”

Mr. Weiss narrows his eyes down at Miu; she’s behind the counter, sitting on her mat and stretching. “You just took a break an hour ago.”

“Mr. Weiss, come on, it’s not like anyone’s coming in. Besides, I already did all the cleaning. What else am I going to do?”

“Fine, but whatever you’re doing, you need to stand. Be alert for if-when a customer comes in.”

“Right.”

Miu does as she’s told with a half frown at Mr. Weiss’ retreating back. She could get away with more considering he mainly does work in his office, but Miu knows he has a point. 

Miu wonders when Hisoka will come back again. It’s been almost two months since the last time he was here. Miu has had all this time to ponder his question; even if Hisoka hadn’t left before Miu could say anything, she still wouldn’t have had an answer, at least not a good one.

Every day is about the same now and Miu is grateful for that. It’s a stark contrast to most of her life up until the last decade or so. Nothing was easy, even with things being as steady as they are now. Nothing is ever easy. Miu knows that. She isn’t so ‘silly’ as to expect more.

Miu supposes that’s why Hisoka’s question had her stumped. All she knows is how to survive. She doesn’t know what ‘more’ even means to her. 

_ “All I want is a peaceful life. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.” _

Someone like Hisoka could never understand. Miu doesn’t know a thing about him, but she can see he must imagine her as someone uninspired and stagnated. Old, maybe. Miu is worn out before her time. 

In just two meetings, Miu has learned this about Hisoka; he doesn’t take much seriously. He’s sneaky and likes to tease. It’s obvious he gets bored easily and he’s definitely not one to reveal everything he’s thinking. Eccentric would be the first word that comes to Miu’s mind if it wasn’t for the fact that Hisoka is clearly some sort of unhinged psychopath. 

_ “He’s definitely got issues. I still don’t understand how, but there’s no denying he’s strong. He doesn’t need to be a Hunter to get away with murder anyway.” _

Miu wonders what Hisoka is doing right now. She knows Hunters tend to travel; it occurs to Miu that she might not actually ever see Hisoka again. If he’s the type to get his kicks from violence and danger, it’s entirely possible he’s in the thick of it right now. Hisoka might even be dead.

It’d probably be his own fault though, so Miu can’t say she feels too bad for him, whatever should happen. Hisoka hasn’t said one nice thing to Miu since they’ve met, except for maybe a few backhanded compliments. He acts as if he knows Miu, like she’s some quaint little thing he can poke and prod at for a laugh. 

Miu rolls up her mat with a frown. She only started doing more intense exercises after thinking how useful it would be to get stronger. If she could protect herself in dangerous situations, she would feel more secure walking down the street. 

_ “But I never would have thought to do something like this before. It’s actually kind of fun. I wonder if the thrift shop might have any videos on basic fight moves or something…” _

Miu makes a plan to visit the store maybe after work or the next day; she can plan out a new workout schedule too, one to make room for the new things she might learn. Lately Miu’s been getting even more invested; she’s never been more motivated. She’s never taken time to take time for something she likes, like an actual hobby. It’s just not something Miu thinks much about.

It’s strange, this feeling. Miu isn’t used to it. She’s so excited to start something new.

Miu’s doesn’t understand why this is only happening now. She’s always enjoyed walks, though they were admittedly served a distinct purpose. She needed to get out of her house; jogging was also practical. It was safer to speed through the street on her way to work than leisurely stroll. Miu was lucky to have not been mugged in the past.

The day goes by slowly and Hisoka has not shown his face by the time Miu has closed up shop. Not that she expected he would. It’s not like Miu’s waiting for him to show up out of the blue. She honestly thinks it’s a long shot to take Hisoka by his word.

_ “He said, ‘until next time’, but he never said when. I don’t know anything about Hisoka, except his name and that he’s a Hunter.” _

Hunters can be hired assassins or bodyguards, but Miu knows that’s not all they do. She’s heard of treasure Hunters and food Hunters, among other fields. She knows they get certain privileges other people don’t. Apparently killing whoever they want is one of them, judging from Hisoka’s reaction. Miu can’t help wonder what someone has to do to become a Hunter; it can’t be as simple as filling out an application.

That’s another strange thing Miu’s been doing recently. Wondering about things that don’t directly pertain to her, like Hunters and martial arts and Hisoka. 

_ “I keep thinking about Hisoka...I can’t help it. I’ve never met anyone like him before.” _

“Give me your money.”

Miu almost didn’t hear the voice behind her, but she definitely felt the sharp prick at the small of her back.

“Don’t turn around. Don’t scream. Just hand over-”

“HEEEEEEEEELP!”

Miu’s shriek is piercing; she never knew she could hit such a high note. The man must have been caught off guard himself judging; Miu is able to jump and break into a run without feeling the sting of a blade slash through her skin. She only gets maybe a few feet before a hand grabs her leg.

“I told you to shut up you crazy bitch!”

Miu crashes to the ground, nearly twists her ankle; the man is down with her, still holding on with bruising strength. The knife he has is small, a boxcutter, but Miu is still scared. She doesn’t know what to do. She can barely even see her assailant in the dim street lights. The pain in her leg is spreading and she’s already panicked.

“Get off of me! I don’t have any money, you-” 

Miu is about to kick the man’s hand away but the man is lying halfway on her, his knife very real and very close to her face. She can smell alcohol on his breath.

“You listen to me.” 

Miu clenches her eyes shut and turns her face away. He’s not listening. She doesn’t have any money on her. It all goes straight into her account and she doesn’t even carry her card on her to and from work. If this man is drunk enough, he might not care, no matter what Miu says. The desperation in his eyes says more than his blade ever could. He won’t hesitate to hurt her if it comes to it.

Miu doesn’t understand. She just wanted to go home.

“Now be good and shut the fuck up before I slice your fucking-”

Miu doesn’t care anymore. It’s just too much and she’s so very tired. 

A hoarse moan reaches her ears and for a moment, Miu wonders if her mugger plans to take something else from her if he can’t have money. It’s not until she feels his weight completely disappear. Miu wildly thinks when she opens her eyes, this whole day will just have been a bad dream. She’ll wake up in her lumpy bed, not on the cold, hard ground with pebbles digging into her back and her leg burning where the man grabbed it.

“How disappointing.”

Miu’s eyes snap open. She swears she’s seeing things. 

“I thought you had a little fight in you. Were you just going to let trash like this have their way?”

Hisoka tosses the man aside with something of a frown. 

“Hisoka?” Miu sits up slowly; her ankle still feels like fireworks are going off inside the bone. “What are you doing here?”

“Now what kind of greeting is that?” Hisoka replies with a sly smirk. “Is that any way to show gratitude for my aid?”

Miu looks over at the mugger; he’s crumpled on the sidewalk. There’s a pool of red slowly forming under his head.

“You…”

“Come now, don’t tell me you’re upset I killed him.” Hisoka gives her a long suffering sort of sigh. “You need to toughen up. I barely even touch him; I guess I don’t know my own strength.”

“You didn’t have to kill him!” 

Hisoka’s eyes widened a bit at Miu’s scowl. “Well, well, so the scared little rabbit has snapped out of her daze. About time.”

“Don’t be an ass. You didn’t have to go that far.” Miu is slowly making her way to standing position by half leaning on the light post for support. Her ankle might be twisted. “And where the hell did you even come from?”

“I was in the area and I saw this man tailing you on your way home. I thought I might as well see what would happen.” Hisoka explains. “I thought you’d have a little more fight in you, but I suppose I can’t expect too much from you yet.”

Miu wishes she could come back with something to wipe the smug grin off of Hisoka’s face, but all she can focus on is the pain in her ankle and the fact that he’s completely right.

_ “If I wasn’t so weak...I completely froze. I couldn’t do anything to help myself.” _

Hisoka seems to have not noticed Miu’s contemplative silence.

“I give you some credit since you were caught off guard, but I thought by now you would have some grasp of...well, these sort of things do take time. It would have been such a waste if I hadn’t stepped in.” Hisoka sighs and nudges the man’s leg with his foot. “You weren’t kidding when you mentioned this was a rough area. I told you before, you ought to think of relocating. Not to mention how dull it is…”

Miu feels ready to explode. She fixes Hisoka with an ugly glare.

“Well no one asked you to come here. If you hate it so much, I don’t see what you’re doing here in the first place.”

Hisoka, as Miu expected, barely registers her frustration. He’s still grinning blithely, content to watch her attempts to straighten up on her weak leg. 

“I did say I meant to come back, didn’t I? Or is your memory as bad as your ankle?”

“I-ugh!” Miu could commit murder herself at this point if she wasn’t so tired. And if she wasn’t absolutely certain Hisoka could kill her with a fraction of his strength. “Seriously, you’re impossible, you know that? Why did you even come back here?”

“What a dumb question.” Hisoka shakes his head, a bemused smile crossing his face. “Because I wanted to see you, Miu.”

“You-! Wait, what?”

“It’s funny. Even though I went out of my way to rescue you, you haven’t thought to ask me to help you stand, have you?”

“I...I’m fine.” Miu insists. “My apartment isn’t that far from here.”

“I see.”

“I’ll be fine. I can walk. I’m just kind of shakey.” Miu chuckles a little. “I’m sorry. I am grateful, really. But you know, you have a way of getting under my skin.”

Hisoka blinks. “You don’t have any filter, do you?”

“I understand why now though.”

“Hm?”

Miu releases the light pole to stand on her own two feet; she’ll have to walk home with a limp, but she can go the rest of the way with little trouble if she’s careful.

“It’s nothing. Anyway, I’m going home now.” Miu says with a yawn. “Sorry but the store is closed. It’ll be open at 8 tomorrow though if you’re still in town.”

“Aren’t you going to invite me to your place?”

“Huh?”

Hisoka crosses his arms with a slight pout. “Well, I did just save your life. And I haven’t had time to find a place to stay as of yet. I only just got here.”

“What?” Miu can hardly believe what she’s hearing. “Didn’t you book a place ahead?”

“I didn’t know I would end up here. I was just on my way to the city when I made the decision to stop by.”

“Geez, do you not plan ahead for this kind of thing?”

“I told you, I wanted to see you again.”

Miu considers this. And what Hisoka means by it.

“Oh.”

“Oh?”   
“Well...”

“Well?”

It’s a bad idea. It doesn’t matter if Hisoka helped her out of a bad spot. Miu knows in her gut there’s something not right. She’s no genius; she didn’t even finish middle school, but Miu doesn’t need a book to tell her Hisoka is a bad idea.

“You can stay at my place.”

  
  
  



	4. Chapter 4

When Miu finally manages to crawl out of bed and shuffle into the kitchen for something to drink, she almost doesn’t recognize the man on her couch eating her cereal.

“Do you always sleep in so late?” Hisoka barely glances up at Miu. It looks like he’s watching cartoons. 

“It’s my day off.” Mius frowns. “Is that my shirt?”

“I needed something clean to change into while my clothes were washing.”

Miu raises an eyebrow at Hisoka’s innocent smile; he’s lounging in his underwear and her t-shirt like he lives there and she’s the house guest. It really shouldn’t be irritating, after all, Miu was the one who insisted he make himself comfortable and eat what he liked. Not that he wouldn’t have done so either way. Miu feels confident that Hisoka isn’t one to spare a thought about whether he’s actually imposing or making people uncomfortable. It’s more likely he enjoys it.

“How is it this shirt succeeds in being both too big and too small?” Hisoka asks lightly; he pinches the hem of the offending cloth and gives it a thoughtful look. “You’re wider than me, but still so short.”

“Excuse me for not having spare shirts in the size of someone I wasn’t expecting to stay over.” Miu mutters as she busies herself making coffee. The kitchen and the living room might as well be a joined area; three steps is all it takes for Miu to go from stepping on cool tile to rough carpet. 

“Do you want some?”

“Five sugars and a dash of cream.” Hisoka turns around to briefly look like he cares whether Miu cares about his lack of manners. “If you don’t mind.”

“No problem.” Miu pours his coffee in the cup with the chipped rim. “You scared me ya know, I thought you were a burglar until I realized it was just you.”

“Did I now? I suppose this is your first time seeing me without my face.” Hisoka swipes a stray lock of hair out of his eyes. “I would have asked to use your shower too, but you sleep like the dead.”

“I was tired.” Miu retorts. “You’d be too after almost getting mugged with a knife in your face and your ankle messed up.”

Hisoka waves his hand. “Don’t you think you’re being a bit over dramatic? I was the one who had to drag that man to the curb. I ought to charge you for a trash collection fee.”

“Kids walk down that sidewalk!”

Hisoka almost looks confused. “And?”

Miu sighs. “Nevermind. Here’s your coffee.”

“Many thanks. What’s for breakfast?”

“You’re eating it.” Miu points at the empty bowl; there’s already a ring on her wobbly coffee table. “That was the last of my cereal.”

“You really are broke.” 

“What was your first clue?”

“I think it hit me somewhere from you having to break your own lock to get inside and the refrigerator filled with condiments and cheap beer.”

Hisoka stands and stretches his arms over his head; Miu’s pajama shirt rises up even further past his abs. She has to admit, he does look good, in and out of what Miu assumes is his ‘normal’ clothes. 

“I do have some instant ramen cups.” Miu offers begrudgingly. “I think I still have a couple eggs too I can fry.”

“Sunny side up is my preference.”

Miu watches incredulously as Hisoka leans up against her counter and sips his coffee flavored sugar drink. 

“This ain’t a hotel you know. You could at least offer to do dishes afterward.”

“I could.” Hisoka shrugs. “But I think you would be a bit more inclined to hospitality after I saved your life.”   
Miu scoffs lightly, head stuck halfway into her refrigerator in her search for decent breakfast ingredients. She really does need to go shopping again soon, among other errands she had planned for the day. After they’ve eaten, Miu will ask Hisoka when he plans on hitting the road.

“He wasn’t going to kill me.”   
“No...not initially.”

“Initially?”

“Is there an echo in here?”

Miu looks over her shoulder at him for a long moment before getting back to her task.

“Well, I could tell he wasn’t planning to hurt you. Most men like him only want one thing you know.” Hisoka’s finger caresses the chips ridge of his cup, his eyes trained on Miu’s every move. “He would want to avoid an escalating situation; he likely thought he could scare you into handing over your money and then be on his way.”

“Too bad for him I’m broke.”

“Not that he knew. He was definitely taken aback when you decided to cause a racket and fend him off. I’m positive he intended to cause you injury as a last resort, but he panicked.”

“Hand me that spatula. The wide one.” Miu asks as she cracks the eggs onto her only frying pan. “And can you fill this with water for our noodles?”

“Yes ma’am.” Hisoka takes the dented kettle from her with a smile. “My, aren’t you adorable. So focused.”

“Yeah, yeah. You know, you could have stepped in earlier before he had me on the ground.”

“I wanted to see what you would do. Besides, you seem fine to me.” Hisoka hands Miu back the full kettle so she can place it on the burner. “In fact, I’m a bit surprised.”

“Why?”

“You’re not limping.”

“So?”

It’s Hisoka’s turn to look at Miu like she’s crazy. “An injury like that doesn’t usually heal in the course of a few hours, even a minor one like that.”

“What are you talking about?” Miu rolls her eyes and reaches for the instant noodle cups; she has to stand on her tiptoes to get to the cabinet with. “Damn...why did I put these up so high?”

“Lack of foresight? Forgetting your own height? Not thinking ahead?” 

Hisoka took the cups down himself; Miu was almost knocked off balance before his free hand shot out to steady her. 

“Oh. Thanks.”

Hisoka grinned down at her. “My pleasure.”

Miu blinks. “Wow.”

“Wow?”

“Is there an echo in here?”

“Funny.”

“I was just thinking: your eyes are really pretty. I don’t think I’ve seen ones like yours before. Do you get your eyebrows done? ” Miu leans in a centimeter to get a better look. “They’re so thin, I almost can’t see them...I thought they might have been drawn on, but I don’t really like makeup, so I wouldn’t know.”

Hisoka’s breath hits her nose; Miu smells coffee and a stale sort of sweetness.

“You really should be more careful who you let get this close.” 

Miu gulps; her throat feels dry. Hisoka’s hand is still at the small of her back. 

“You’re not very aware of what’s going around you. Being more vigilant for potential attacks is what helps avoid incidents like last night.” Hisoka lowers his voice to a soft purr. “Unless you actually don’t mind a little excitement now and then.”

Miu opens her mouth to reply, but just as Hisoka’s face moves in a fraction of a centimeter, the kettle’s piercing whistle catches their attention. 

“ The water is ready!” Miu unnecessarily announces before stepping around Hisoka with stealth she didn’t know she possessed. “I’ll see if I have an extra pair of chopsticks.”

In no time at all they’re eating side by side on the couch and watching TV. It only gets two channels on a good day, but Miu is grateful for the buffer. She’s not used to having people over. 

To be exact, Miu’s never had anyone stay over. She doesn’t have any friends or family who would want to visit. 

_ “It’s been so long since someone was sitting next to me on this couch. I didn’t realize how much I....” _

Hisoka devours the last of his noodles with a loud slurp. “Ah. that’s better. I haven’t had noodles in a while.”

“It’s all I usually eat.” Miu tells him. “My favorite part is drinking the broth.”

“I think it’s better to wait and let the noodles soak in all that flavor.”

“Eh, call me impatient.”

“Don’t mind if I do.” Hisoka sighs in satisfaction. “A meal shared is very filling.”

“More like a meal demanded.”

“You’re so….tactless?” Hisoka rubs his chin and props his feet on the table. “Contrary?”

“I thought I was impatient.”

“That too.”

Miu laughs. “You’re one to talk. At least I’m honest. I wouldn’t be surprised if there was another face hidden under that mop.”

Hisoka runs a hand through his loose hair. “Rude as ever.”

“Hey, I let you crash here, didn’t I?”

“An eye for an eye. Tit for tat and all the rest, right?”   
“Not really.” Miu steps over Hisoka’s legs with their empty cups. “I would have let you stay either way.”

Hisoka smirks. “Do you invite every person who asks to spend the night?”

“I’ve never had anyone stay over before.” Miu clicks her tongue. “Shoot I’m out of dish soap too.”

“Are you serious?”   
“Yeah, just ran out.”

Hisoka looks at Miu with a long suffering stare. “Was that supposed to be a joke?”

“Whatever. But yeah, it’s just been me here for a while now.”

“No family? Friends, acquaintances?” Hisoka’s tongue darts out to wet his lips. “Lovers?”

“Yeah, no.” Miu tosses their cups into the trash bin; she makes a note to buy more noodles and some veggies or even meat to add in if it isn’t too expensive. 

“A young woman with little money or means to protect herself living alone on the wrong side of the tracks: you’re certain you haven’t thought of leaving?”

“I’m fine here. Besides, I do have some good memories around here.” Miu counters. 

“Such as?” 

Miu turns around; Hisoka’s voice sounded too close for him to still be in the living room.

“How…? Is this a Hunter thing? Just moving around like a ghost?” Miu blusters to cover how startled she is. “In your case maybe more of a ghoul.”

“It’s one of my many talents. By the way, are my clothes dry?”

“I don’t know, you’re the one who put them in.”

“I was honestly expecting you to tell me your appliances were broken too.” Hisoka replies lightly before walking away to check the dryer himself; he actually saunters over to the laundry closet. “Is one of your good memories a time where this place didn’t look so decrepit?”

“No one told you to stay. You have money right? Why didn’t you just find a hotel or something?”

Hisoka pauses fishing out his only slightly damp clothes to give Miu the most annoying smile yet.

“I think I already made my intentions clear enough. Unlike you, who keeps dodging my questions.”

“I’m not-”

“You’re under no obligation to tell me anything, of course. I’m just curious.” Hisoka shakes out his pants in an attempt to get out the wrinkles. 

“I’d think mundane stuff like that would be boring for you.”

“I’m interested.”

Miu takes a moment to consider how much of what Hisoka is saying is true or not. 

“My sister used to live with me here. She pretty much took care of me when our parents left. I can’t really remember them though.” Miu admits. “But I didn’t care. Me and Katsumi always had each other.”

“That explains a lot.” Hisoka gives up trying to shake out his pants and throws them back into the dryer for a second time. “But yet, here you are alone now.”

“She died about ten years ago. Luckily, Mr. Weiss had an opening at his store and I’ve been able to get by on my own.” 

“Sounds lonely.” Hisoka commented.

“Not really.”

That’s a bit of a lie, but Hisoka doesn’t need to know that. And there is some truth to it; at first, Miu did feel lonely. As a new routine was settled, Miu found it becoming easier each day to come home after work. She tries not to think about Katsumi too much most days and the few pictures they took together are stored in Miu’s phone in a seldom opened file. 

In a way, Hisoka is completely right about Miu: even after all these years, she just can’t handle missing the only person who ever loved her. To leave this place would mean leaving what little comfort Miu’s been lucky to receive. Miu won’t risk losing what little she has, even if it means living in a place that wears down on her bit by bit her whole life. It’s not as if there’s anything out there for her anyway. All Miu ever really wanted has left her a long time ago.

“You said it yourself Hisoka. I’m weak.” 

Miu looks up from her hands. Hisoka is staring at her with an unreadable expression. It does occur to Miu that she doesn’t have the intelligence or experience to attempt to understand someone like Hisoka. All she can say for sure is that she hasn’t a clue what’s going on in Hisoka’s mind or what he really thinks of her. To someone who stands so tall, who lacks any sense of shame or doubt in what he wants, Miu must seem very small minded and willfully content in having less than what they could have. 

But then, Miu doesn’t know when she started caring.

“You don’t seem bothered by it.”

“What makes you say that?”

“You’re smiling.”

“I-”

But it’s true. Miu touches the corner of her lip. She feels awful and she’s smiling.

“I wager that’s not typical for a stick in the mud such as yourself.”

Miu wants to retort with sarcasm, but her mind’s drawing a blank. She blames fatigue and the lack of nutrition in her breakfast. Granted, what Hisoka just said is also true; Miu hasn’t had many things to smile about lately.

“Yeah.” Miu concedes. “I guess it is.”

“I must be pretty special then.”

With one sentence, the smile is wearing thin on Miu’s face. 

“So, where are we going today? You do go places, right? Or do you just hole up in your room until you have no choice but to go out into the sunlight?”

And now it’s gone.

  
  



	5. Chapter 5

There’s one supermarket in Miu’s town and it’s about three miles away, which is inconvenient seeing as how it’s the closest place to get fresh produce and meat. Miu only has to do grocery shopping for herself, so it’s a little easier considering she only has to make a trip maybe once every two weeks at the most, sometimes less. The bus that comes by on an hourly basis stops right on a corner that’s less than a ten minute walk; Miu tends to sit somewhere near the front with the elderly and the women traveling with their children. There’s plenty of wide bench space and it’s just safer to stay in a group away from the troublemakers, usually young, hot blooded men skipping school, who take residence in the seats furthest to the back.

Today is not a good day to do that.

“Hisoka.”

“Yes?”

Miu fights the urge to glance around. “Doesn’t it feel like people are avoiding us?”

“Are they? How strange.”

“Strange?” Miu whispers out of the side of her mouth. “You made that guy almost break the door trying to leave.”

Hisoka is sitting next to her, leisurely taking in the unimpressive scenery the bus passes with each corner turned; there’s a sign that says no eating or drinking, but the bus driver has kept silent with every piece of candy Hisoka pops into his mouth. Since the moment he and Miu had set out, Hisoka’s been treating this task like some sort of day trip; and despite the amount of space to be shared, Miu’s thigh is being continuously bumped by his.

“He was being unreasonably confrontational. I would say I did everyone here a favor.”

“You cut off his finger with a playing card!” 

“If you’re going to let every little thing bother you, this is going to be a long trip.”

Miu huffs lightly. “No one’s forcing you to come along.”

“I might as well since I’m staying over for the weekend.”

“Says who?”

Miu’s sharp glare is met with an innocent grin.

“Well, why not?”

Hisoka waits for a rebuttal. Miu’s mouth has become a thin white line of disapproval; she turns her head to stare out the window.

“We’re almost there.” she comments after a minute.

“Oh good. Candy?”

Miu takes a sour lemon ball. 

“How fitting.”

Miu ignores his comment. “Just try to reign it in and don’t make any trouble for me while we’re out. The area around the market is a lot safer than my neighborhood, but there’s plenty of assholes who go there too.”

“Sounds like an adventure.”

Miu lets out a long breath through her nose; she honestly doesn’t know how they ended up here, on the way to do grocery shopping together. At this rate they’ll be looking for a futon for him to sleep on. 

That being said, Miu still is the one voluntarily letting Hisoka stay with her for the weekend; she knows all the motels in the area are overpriced and a hundred times more dingy compared to her ‘oversized closet’ as Hisoka dubbed it. Just as Miu isn’t forcing Hisoka to stay, he isn’t forcing her to do anything either. 

Miu’s relieved Hisoka has decided to forgo his makeup and settle for a relatively tame version of his usual attire. In fact, he almost looks normal.

“Sorry, excuse me.”

Miu is jostled from her thoughts at a timid whisper of a voice coming from above. It’s an older woman with a walker. Miu is surprised with herself; she hadn’t even realized the bus had stopped to let in more people.

“I just need to squeeze through here.”

“Oh, sorry about that.” Miu tucked in her foot that was sticking halfway into the aisle. “Do you want our seats? We’re closer to the ramp.”

“No, it’s alright, I wouldn’t want to separate you two. But thanks, that’s very thoughtful.”

“No problem.” 

Miu gives the woman a bashful half grin as she moves past to sit next to another woman a few benches down with a baby, likely her daughter and grandchild. Miu watches the elderly woman coo over the half asleep baby for a second before looking back outside, a heavy weight on her chest making her forget where she was for a moment.

“Interesting.”

“Huh?”   
“You really don’t pay attention, do you?” Hisoka sighed, though his tone was unabashedly amused. “Nevermind, it was really nothing.”

“What?”

“No, don’t mind me. Let’s just enjoy the rest of our ride, shall we?”

“Fine, I’m not going to beg you to tell me.”

Miu looked away resolutely; she wasn’t in the mood for his games anyway. It figures Hisoka would make an already tedious bus ride somehow more of an annoyance. 

_ “I wish he would leave. I don’t really want to be around anyone right now.” _

Seeing the two women had struck a chord in Miu. She’s positive from the way they’re chatting they’re related or at least they know each other. After a quick glance from the corner of her eye, Miu sees the elderly lady is gingerly holding the baby in her arms now. It’s a bittersweet image.

_ “My own mom must have held me before, right? I wonder if I have grandparents too somewhere….” _

Katsumi never spoke to Miu about their parents. In fact, any mention of them was met with snapping and giving Miu the cold shoulder until the subject was dropped altogether. Besides, knowing about the strangers that abandoned them was much less important to Miu than angering the only family she had at the time. Deep down, Miu couldn’t help being afraid that someday Katsumi would leave her too, even if she also felt foolish for thinking it. 

The baby is awake now and gurgling nonsense; their mother takes out a half filled bottle of formula to keep her quiet for the time being. She looks exhausted, but happy. That drooling, fussing child in her arms is her world; dull as others might believe, Miu can tell that much.

_ “I was right back then too. Katsumi’s gone. I’m alone.” _

It only takes ten minutes to the end of the bus ride; there’s not too many people in the supermarket, so Miu feels better having Hisoka inside. She can’t help be wary; every time they’ve met so far has involved him getting violent. The less people the better. 

“Flowers?”

“Yeah.” 

Hisoka leans over the shopping cart railing. They’ve already collected most of what Miu’s needed, albeit with some difficulty. Hisoka kept pestering Miu to pause for different snacks; she’s fortunate her own shopping list is relatively inexpensive or she would surely be penniless after this one trip.

“That apartment could use some color.”

Miu picks out a bouquet of only half bloomed red roses. “Yeah, yeah. Let’s go check out, the next bus will be here in twenty minutes.”

Hisoka leads the way to the checkout line, pushing the cart so Miu can fish her card out of her pocketbook. He pulls into a self checkout counter and leaves Miu to run each item through the scanner.

“You could help bag these.”

“It’s a shame they don’t have more of a selection.” Hisoka is looking around the store openly. “I expected more people to be here on a weekend.”

Miu sighs; now that she thinks about it, Hisoka might do something like putting the eggs on top of the loaf of bread or something. They don’t have that much to carry anyhow; after everything is bagged and ready to be carted outside, Hisoka steps in front of Miu to choose payment options on the monitor.

“Hisoka? What are you-?”

“Don’t argue Miu.” Hisoka inserts his card and types in a code. “Helping with this seems like a fair exchange for shelter, don’t you think?”

“Oh. Sure. Thanks.” 

Miu didn’t expect this. Hisoka even took all the bags to carry himself on the bus and off once they arrived in Miu’s neighborhood. 

“You know, I can carry some of them.”

“Perhaps.” Hisoka said. “I won’t let you though.”

“Since when do you act so…?” Miu searches for the right word. “Chivalrous.”

Hisoka gives her a vague smile. “Well, it’s tradition for me to pay, isn’t it?”

In no time they’ve reached Miu’s apartment; the bulk of the day has actually gone by pretty quickly, though Miu notes it took longer than usual. By now she would already have her dinner ready to eat.

“Tradition? For grocery shopping?”

“To pay on the first date.”

Miu is holding open the door for Hisoka to wedge his way past, arms still full with their purchases. By the time Hisoka is putting everything down on Miu’s kitchen counter, she can’t help stand there for a second, with a dumb struck look on her face. 

“Are you going to tell me where to put these?”

“Wait, wait,” Miu shuts the door behind her, taking the time to make sure her lock is in place again. “Date?”

“Well, you didn’t deny it earlier, so I assumed-?”

“What?” Miu’s gaping. “When did-?”

Hisoka shakes his head at her and speaks with a patronizing air of patience while he takes out each item from the bags. 

“The old woman who spoke to you on the bus was under the impression we were together. You didn’t deny it, so I thought…” Hisoka trails of, shrugging his shoulders. “Was I wrong?”

Miu sputters as she recalls the exact words the woman had said. 

“I didn’t know-I wasn’t even listening, really, I-!”

“Miu. I’m joking.”

Warmth floods Miu’s cheeks. She stares at Hisoka with narrowed eyes, which of course doesn’t phase him in the slightest.

“I figured it went over your head.”

“You’re the worst.” Miu trudges over and grabs a package of beef from Hisoka’s hands. “Just help me put this stuff away, will you? It won’t take me long to make dinner. Put those flowers on the table; I don’t want them to get crushed.”

“Whatever you say,” Hisoka smiles. “Darling.”

“I’m laughing so hard.”

Miu silently fumes as she readies the skillet from that morning with more olive oil; beef and mushrooms cook quickly enough. She still has some uncooked noodles from this morning and green onions for topping. A simple dish, but filling. 

She supposes she should be a little more grateful. The ingredients she picked out were pretty decent quality; if she knew Hisoka would be footing the bill, she might have picked out something a bit cheaper. Maybe.

_ “Is that what we looked like?” _ Miu covertly looks over to where Hisoka is lounging.  _ “First cartoons now a horror movie? He really is a weirdo; his whole aura just screams it. How could anyone think we were together?” _

Miu wishes Hisoka wouldn’t tease her like that; her reactions can’t be that entertaining and it’s just mean.

_ “Hisoka is mean. Cruel, really. If he wasn’t so strong, he’d probably be stuffed away in some asylum. I thought he was acting too nice when we got to the store. What, was he playing along and trying to see if I’d fall for it? He didn’t actually think I thought we were on a date though. Honestly, I can’t imagine anyone actually going out with him...unless they have a thing for crazy manchildren who dress like jesters…” _

“Miu, I’m hungry. Is the food ready?”

“Hold on will ya? Come get a plate, I’m not serving you.”

Hisoka strolls over with a wide grin. “That smells heavenly. You really do have a knack for cooking.”

“It’s not hard really. I’m just used to making simple meals from scratch.” Miu replies with a half hearted smile of her own. “A lot of the times I usually just have to make do with whatever is lying around.”

“It’s called being resourceful.” Hisoka tells her; he’s already swallowed a mouthful of the steaming food. “Delicious.”

Miu refrains from looking too pleased with herself as they sit on the couch. She’s about to dig in herself before she notices the flowers.

“Oh, I’ll go put these in water.”

Miu picks up the bouquet; the roses come with a little plant foot, so all she needs to do is supply the water and a vase. She always buys red roses that haven’t bloomed completely yet; they last longer and she doesn’t have to buy them as often. 

“Need a hand?”

Miu shakes her head. “Nah, I’m fine. Be right back.”

Her bedroom is at the other end of the hall that leads to the entry door. It was Katsumi’s bedroom the last five years of her life, but before that, they used to share it. Really, Miu shared everything with her; the bed, the closet, the bathroom, most of their clothes, meals. At one point though Katsumi had thought she should have her own space and Miu agreed. The bedroom shrunk as they got older and there was hardly any room; Miu insisted on taking the living room. She enjoyed the view from the window anyway; most of the street lights in that direction were broken, so when it was dark, Miu could see most of the stars on clear nights.

Red roses were Katsumi’s favorite flowers, but she rarely bought them. They were a luxury that couldn’t be afforded on a regular basis.

“Hey. Today ,y...well, maybe not ‘friend’, exactly.” Miu carefully replaces the withered dead roses with the new ones. “But he did buy them for me with everything else. I guess even he has his moments.”

Miu arranges the roses in the jar Katsumi used to mix her herbs in for seasoning. On the left side of it is a sketch Katsumi gifted Miu on her fourteenth birthday of a pretty bluebird sitting on a branch of a bare tree. Next to that is the vase with Katsumi’s ashes; it’s red with black designs of moths and what looks like vines. Miu picked it out herself. 

“I’m glad I got these ones. Aren’t they pretty?”

Propped up behind the vase is the only photograph of Katsumi that Miu ever bothered to print out. It was a perfect shot, if Miu did say so herself; it’s her sister’s profile from the left, the same side of her face that shows her cheek piercing. Katsumi has her hand on the bus stop pole as if to steady herself; she’s looking straight ahead at nothing in particular. She looks somber, but calm. It was a good day Miu never wanted to forget; without saying anything, she took out her phone to capture her sister’s image just as she was in that rare moment of peace. The picture was taken two months after she was released from the hospital and two days before she killed herself.

  
  
  



	6. Chapter 6

Miu isn’t angry. She could never be mad at Katsumi; the only one who can ever truly understand Katsumi is herself. Besides, Miu doesn’t have that kind of energy in the first place. To her a slightly raised voice and grumbling is her equivalent of an outburst. Hisoka had it all wrong; any emotional reaction above mild is hard to come by in Miu’s experience. 

“I was wondering where you went off to.”

Hisoka is leaning on the doorframe to Miu’s room; the light behind him offset the almost catlike glow of his eyes. Miu briefly considers that Hisoka might not be human; the vibe she gets off of him in instances like these are unlike anything she’s ever felt. If Hisoka wanted to, he could kill her. Miu knows this and after the disregard he’s shown for human life so far, she wouldn’t be surprised if he did. 

“Is that your sister? She looks young. I wouldn’t guess you two were related.”

“She was twenty six.” 

Miu takes one last look at her sister’s face; she was always the slimmer between them. For a while Miu thought she would waste away. It was one of the reasons Katsumi was kept in the hospital; it was voluntary, but only after days of pleading and tears. Miu still has a scar on her hand from wrestling the knife away. 

Once Katsumi was approved for release, Miu couldn’t feel much more than dread. She understood nothing would be the same. Katsumi had crossed a line that couldn’t just be forgotten. 

Miu didn’t care though. It didn’t matter if she had to do the same thing every day. If she received a thousand scars, it would be worth it. The hurt of wondering when, if, Katsumi would get better was surely nothing compared to the alternative.

Maybe that’s where Miu went wrong. She was selfish. She let herself hope for the possibility of a happy life with her sister in it. 

“Was she ill?”

“She was in a lot of pain.”

Katsumi never wanted to die. Miu knew this much. It’s why she held in her tears that day. From cutting the rope that Katsumi had tied to their ceiling, to calling the ambulance, to holding the body that had already lost all warmth, Miu didn’t cry. She couldn’t. Katsumi always hated it when she cried in front of her.

“Hisoka, I found some extra blankets.”

“Much obliged.”

“You can use the shower if you want and I put your toothbrush on the sink.”

Miu sets about laying down a clean comforter on the couch with a spare pillow. This is good. Work is good. It helps keep her hands steady and her mind clear. All Miu has to focus on is the motions and then she can shut her brain down of every other thought. Today there’s been too many occasions lately to remember Katsumi and the way Miu used to be.

_ “I thought I was going to cry back there for a sec. What’s going on with me?” _

Miu decides to skip brushing her teeth in favor of going straight to bed. She doesn’t want to engage in anymore discussion or back and forth. 

_ “He always looks at me like he knows...I don’t know. Like he can see everything going on in my head or like he knows something I don’t, but I should.” _

The only thing Miu can think to do now is try to get some sleep. Whatever she’s going through can be analyzed later when she isn’t quite so drained. Miu’s so out of it, she misses the fact that she didn’t leave her door open. Or give permission for Hisoka to stand there in his underwear.

“What the...Hisoka? I thought you were in the shower?”

“I’m giving it time to warm up. Besides,” 

Miu doesn’t believe it. It’s weird enough Hisoka is standing in her room and practically in the nude and, well, Hisoka. But what’s more confusing is that he’s standing in front of the dresser with Katsumi’s memorial with his hands pressed together in prayer.

“I thought I should pay my respects.”

Miu stands where Hisoka was not twenty minutes before, watching him. She hasn’t had a chance to look at him like this; his eyes are closed and his face is devoid of a leer or a smirk. 

“Thank you.”

Hisoka hums in acknowledgement; after a few seconds, he opens his eyes and lowers his hands to his sides. Miu is still staring openly.

“Is that it?” Hisoka smirks playfully. “No ‘can’t you do that with pants’? Maybe accusing me of something devious and demanding I leave?”

“No. I wasn’t thinking that.” Miu says quietly. “I do want to go to bed though, so…”

“No worries, I’ll just see myself out.” Hisoka is almost past Miu to the hall before he stops in front of her. “Goodnight, Miu.”

“Goodnight.” 

“Oh, hold still.”

Miu just avoids flinching when Hisoka raises his hand to her face; contrary to what she assumed, his fingers just barely skim her cheek. Strangely enough, his nails don’t scratch her.

“Eyelash.” Hisoka holds up the evidence on his pointer finger. “Make a wish.”

Miu manages a half smile. “Really?”

“Well, if you won’t….”

Hisoka blows the eyelash off his finger, sending it who knows where. His lips linger in a slight pout almost as long as Miu’s eyes linger on them. She finds her voice when she sees that familiar smug expression on Hisoka’s face.

“So, what did you wish for?”

“Ah, that’s not how it works.” Hisoka wags his finger in her face. “If you say it, it doesn’t come true.”

“That sounds counterproductive.”

“Maybe. But it’s more fun that way.” Hisoka replies. “Well, then, sweet dreams.”

“Night.”

It would be easier to just go to her room and shut the door and forget. Miu wants to. She wants to get back to her normal life, as dull and sad as it may seem. It’s all she can do.

“Hisoka.”

Hisoka had only taken a few steps down the hall when he heard Miu following. She hates the look on his face too. As it was only a matter of time.

“Thank you.” Miu has to stand on her tiptoes to press a kiss to his jaw. “I mean it.”   
“I thought so.”

Miu smiles. “Well, goodnight.”

Hisoka watches Miu leave and doesn’t go into the bathroom until she closes her bedroom door behind him. The water is at a perfect temperature and Miu has already provided him with a clean towel to use. Hisoka has to say, he’s relieved; at this point, he really didn’t think the shower would be fully functioning.

_ “This day has been full of surprises.” _

Hisoka chuckles quietly to himself. Everything is going according to his wishes, better than he expected in fact. Soon he’ll have Miu in the palm of his hand.

_ “And then the real fun can begin.” _

Luckily, Hisoka has made a point of having many toys to keep him entertained; he can preoccupy himself while he sets all the pieces up for this new game. The pay off will be that much more satisfying in the long run. Miu isn’t ready just yet, but she will be. Hisoka prides himself on instinct and intuition; he isn’t a patient man by choice, but he appreciates the simple truth that good things do come to those who wait.

He can wait a while longer if it means getting what he wants. Hisoka counts himself fortunate to have stumbled upon Miu when he wasn’t even looking. 

_ “And she is quite a find. If I do things right, she’ll be mine for the taking.” _

Until then, Hisoka will find a way to enjoy himself. Sometimes it truly is about the journey, not the destination.

_ “It’s so hard to be patient…but I must if I want things to go the way I want.” _

Hisoka relaxes under the hot stream of water as it pelts his skin and soothes his agitation. When he washes his face, his fingers graze the spot Miu just barely pressed her lips against. 

_ “I suppose I’ll simply have to make do with this for the time being.” _

Hisoka can’t help grin. Miu won’t know what hit her.


	7. Chapter 7

Miu will die before she tells Hisoka what’s really so good about the place they visit today. It’s supposedly his last day in town, so Miu offered to treat him to a place she hasn’t visited in a few years.

That morning, Miu woke up with a purpose in mind for her day. She’s counting on Hisoka to distract her thoughts. Miu’s noticed that whenever she finds her mind wandering in Hisoka’s presence, he always finds a way to get her attention again. It honestly reminds her of a little kid who’s used to be the center of attention.

True to form, Hisoka has ordered the most decorative and sweet pastry the coffee shop stocks with a plain black coffee. Miu’s usual order is the opposite; a sweet cold coffee with extra whipped cream paired with an old fashioned donut. 

It’s a nice place, like any coffee shop. Cozy and clean, not too crowded thankfully, and quiet. Everyone is either immersed in their own hushed conversations or preoccupied on a computer or reading. They were able to stop in just before the noon rush; Miu didn’t expect Hisoka to insist on a booth in the farthest corner from most of the people there. It didn’t cross her mind that he would care to sit somewhere discreet or isolated; Miu herself loves it.

Not that it makes too much of a difference; since they sat down, Hisoka’s eyes haven’t strayed from her face. Hisoka doesn’t glance out the window or around the table; he hasn’t even tried to play with his cards or the sugar packets while speaking. It’s not like him to be so still.

Miu stares right into Hisoka’s lofty gaze as she tells him about her last school memory, before she dropped out. As she does, Miu can’t help questioning when she started to take notice of things like how people sat or whether or not they fidgeted. Miu concludes being around Hisoka must be putting her more on edge than she already is.

“I only went back to get my things from my desk. I don’t remember running into anyone. It’s kind of rare for people around my neighborhood to finish high school or graduate on time. No one cares.” Miu stirs her drink until the whip cream melts into her coffee. 

“You could have asked for more cream or sweetener.”

“I like whipped cream.” Miu replies. “What about you? You go to school?”

“I enjoy learning new things.”

“Right.” Miu won’t even bother trying to pry. “This is the best. I wish this place was closer to my apartment. I’d drink this every day.”

“Why don’t you make it yourself?”

“It’s not the same.” Miu insists. “Part of the fun is getting to come here and enjoy the atmosphere.”

“You do know big words.”

Miu gives a deadpan look in response to Hisoka’s amused smirk over the rim of her cup. “It’s not like I flunked out. I just couldn’t go. I couldn’t live off my sis’s life insurance forever. I’m still making payments on the hospital bill.”

“You know, there is a way you can make money fast.”

“No.”

“I didn’t even say what-”

“I don’t trust getting something for nothing.” Miu cuts Hisoka off. “So no to whatever you were going to say.”

Hisoka shakes his head. “Now, I never said that. You do have to put forth a lot of effort on your end, but it’s not impossible. Have you heard of Heaven’s Arena?”

Hisoka’s smile turns strained when Miu snorts her coffee all over the table; she’s still chuckling wetly as she grabs a fistful of napkins to wipe up the mess, seemingly unaware of the looks they’re getting. 

“You can’t be serious.”

“So...you’ve heard of it?”

“Sure, but there’s no way I could enter! I don’t know any style of martial arts. The only fights I’ve been in are one off brawling and I wasn’t even trying to fight.” Miu is smiling like she’s waiting for the punchline. “I mean, I’d get killed in a day or less.”   
“Not necessarily. With training, you could at the very least go up a few levels.” Hisoka says nonchalantly. “How much is that debt of yours, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Over a thousand.” Miu’s smile turns weak. “I’ve been chipping away at it. I think I could pay it off in another ten years or so.”

“That’s one way.” Hisoka licks at the prongs of his fork lightly. “Or you could pay it off in...oh, maybe a month or so at ten levels.”

Miu takes pause at the criticism she was about to send Hisoka’s way. There’s two hundred levels, she knows that, but Miu had no idea people could make that kind of money before even the fiftieth level mark.

“You would want to get in shape and learn some fighting style, of course. But even a novice like you could manage to get to the rookies level.” 

“Sounds easier said than done.”

“It’s just a matter of time and effort, as I said.” Hisoka counters. “You said it yourself, you aren’t exactly busy outside of your job are you?”

Miu can’t deny that. It definitely wouldn’t be impossible to set aside time each day, a couple of hours at least, for the kind of training Hisoka is referencing. 

“Still sounds crazy if you ask me. Besides, I don’t want to hurt anyone.” Miu sips her coffee. “It might be hard to believe, but we don’t all get our kicks from blood and picking fights.”

“I have no idea what you’re referring to. Why, I never go out of my way to cause a confrontation.”

“You just keep your eyes peeled for one.”

Hisoka’s foot brushes against Miu’s. “I find it hard to believe someone as blunt as you hasn’t been in your fair share of scraps.”

Miu kicks Hisoka’s foot to the side. “I only defend myself from people who want to mess with me.”

“Everyone who competes in Heaven’s Arena does so with the intent of winning. It’s not as if you would be required to kill or even seriously injure. Even a technical knockout will do; the game is won only when your opponent can no longer fight.”

“I’m not saying anything about people who go. I can see why….I just don’t know if I could do that.” Miu scratches her head wearily. “I can’t just shut off my conscience.”

“You’re kind.”

“I wouldn’t say that.” 

It might sound humble and self effacing, but it’s also true. Miu isn’t kind. She’s a lot of things, but she won’t lie to herself, no matter how much she wishes it was true. Of course, Miu doesn’t really believe Hisoka thinks so either. No matter what Hisoka says, Miu can’t get rid of the instinct that keeps alerting her better senses to be mindful. 

_ “I don’t know why...I just can’t seem to get past that sneaky fox face of his. And the way he says it...how am I supposed to not be suspicious?” _

“Modest too. You might have a point though. You won’t get far with an attitude like that.” Hisoka prods Miu’s shoe again. “I guess you’ll just have to settle for poverty until you die. It’s too bad. I think you have a lot of potential. Besides, if you find yourself in a bind, I’m sure that cute face of yours can work to your advantage.”

“Until it gets beaten in.”

Hisoka laughs outright, attracting more stares. 

“Miu, you are too much!”

Miu leans her chin on her hand and stares at Hisoka in faint wonder. She wasn’t trying to be funny. It does feel nice to make someone laugh though, even unintentionally. This time Hisoka isn’t laughing at her.

“Are you done? I swear, you’ve been acting weird since we got here.”

Hisoka’s small chuckling fit has passed. “Have I?”

“Something just seems off. Well, moreso.” Miu says. “Bringing up this thing all of a sudden...not to mention the staring.”

“I wouldn’t call that strange. Correct me if I’m wrong, but it’s only polite to look at someone when they’re speaking to you.” 

“It’s not like you.”

“Oh?”

Miu nods. “When I talk to you, you only look at me if you have a point to make. Otherwise you just sort of mess with things you have on your and look around. You really do get bored easily.” 

“I can’t help it if I am. I must admit, I never know what’s going to come out of your mouth. Today you seem especially engaged as well.” 

Hisoka rests his own chin in the palm of his hand; his body language is far more relaxed though and his smile so quick to make an appearance. At first glance, someone might assume Hisoka was the open book. Miu’s sure they wouldn’t guess how indirect he is when talking about his own thoughts. 

“It’s not so easy to put into words.”

Miu finishes her coffee, but her donut is still not even half eaten. “What?”

“You don’t really bother with hiding your feelings, do you Miu? They come out the longer you talk too. You have so many expressions. I could watch you forever.”

It would be almost sweet if what Hisoka just said hadn’t been followed with his tongue slowly swiping a smudge of cream off the corner of his mouth. Miu can’t begin to figure out the proper response, if there is any. 

“Tell me something...why do you stay here?”

“Why? I mean...it’s my home.”   
“But you seem so miserable. Why not broaden your horizons? You could always make a new home.” Hisoka said. “Or is it really so hard to let go of the past?”

“You know, that’s one of the things that’s so weird about you. You just change subjects without any warning.” Miu’s knees are shaking under the table. “I figure a guy as smart as you probably understands, even if you think I’m stupid.”

“On the contrary, I think you’re too level headed to cling to sentimental nonsense. When we first met, you struck me as someone who wouldn’t care about those things.”

“I do. I love my sister.”

“She’s not here though. So why are you?”

Miu shrugs. “I’m weak. But you knew that. Why should I take a chance on something that will just backfire on me anyway? I could get myself killed your way. I could lose what little peace I have in my life.”

“So?”

“So?” Miu is starting to become sincerely angry. “Maybe you wouldn’t understand, but-”

“Even if you lost everything, what’s to stop you from getting it back? Or better yet, finding something better? You’re so focused on protecting what’s already broken you can’t even imagine creating something new? Talk about a lack of imagination. Honestly Miu, if it were anyone else, I’d have given up by now.”

Miu is glued to her seat when Hisoka stands; he puts down a few bills on the table, more than enough to pay her back for the coffee and his bus fare.

“I think that’s enough for today. I really should be off. Do you mind keeping an eye on the things I left in your apartment? I promise, I’ll be back sooner than you think.”

Miu hates herself for letting Hisoka walk away. She hates how easily he can read her and break down exactly what she doesn’t want him to know. 

But Miu hates herself more for the way she’s allowed her grief to consume her life.

With only a few sentences, Hisoka has Miu questioning everything. As if her past and her pain means nothing. Maybe it doesn’t. Maybe all Hisoka is able to truly comprehend is the present. 

_ “...I wonder how long it’ll be until I see you again...or if I even want to.” _


	8. Chapter 8

Something feels wrong ever since Hisoka left. 

“Mr. Weiss, here.”

It’s a bit early in the morning to be eating cake, but from the look on Mr. Weiss’ face, he doesn’t mind at all. Miu hands over the box carefully so the frosting isn’t smudged.

“Is this from Simply Brewed?” Mr. Weiss asks. 

“Yeah. Do you like it?”

“This will go nice with my tea.”

Miu can’t help quip. “Coffee cake with tea?”

“I thought you stopped going to that place.”

“I went with a friend the other day.” Miu shrugs. 

“I see.”

It’s apparent that Mr. Weiss isn’t buying Miu’s show of nonchalance, but she knows he wouldn’t pry.

“So, you have friends now?” Mr. Weiss picks at the red ribbon tied around the box. “I forgot how tight they seal these things...what, is it a bomb?”

“Well, not exactly a friend.” Miu begins. “More like an acquaintance who was passing through town. He wanted to go somewhere to grab coffee. Said the kind I had at home was shitty.”

“Sounds nice.” Mr. Weiss grunts.

Hisoka’s actual words were, ‘flavorless bean juice’. Miu wasn’t sure if she could call someone who has zero reservations about insulting her every other sentence. She’s still a bit angry with herself for letting Hisoka have the last word and leaving her speechless. To Miu’s credit, Hisoka in general caught her off guard. The last few days he was with her seemed unreal. Miu almost felt like she had just imagined it all, but when she returned to her apartment there were Hisoka’s things lying around her living room. It wasn’t a huge mess thankfully; just some clothes and a few pieces of candy left behind, but Miu couldn’t find the energy to clean up. Being around Hisoka made her tense; now that he was gone, Miu was able to relax. It was like she had been holding her breath for two days straight.

Miu just can’t understand why Hisoka is so adamant about critiquing her life choices. It wasn’t any of his business where she chose to live. It had nothing to do with him if Miu did anything and he hardly seemed like the type to go around dispensing well intentioned advice.

_ “He said he wasn’t going to give up on me...but what does that even mean? Is he talking about Heaven’s Arena? Or is it something else?” _

Miu hasn’t been able to stop thinking about it all day. She wonders when Hisoka planned to return.

“Mr. Weiss?”

“What?”

Miu scratches her head. “I never did ask...how was Katsumi here?”

“What do you mean?”

“How was she dealing with customers and, you know, just the daily grind and all that.”

Mr. Weiss frowns. “Let’s see...she was a hard worker. Quiet though. I thought she wouldn’t last long here, but she could handle tough situations pretty well. She was here during that attempted break in; it was maybe a few months into her starting here, but she didn’t panic.”

“I thought so.” 

Miu recalled the day. Katsumi had come home in tears and it had taken Miu a long time to help her calm down. 

“Your sister talked about you a lot.”

“She did?” Miu hadn’t expected that.

“It was one of the only things she did talk about. She was a good girl. It’s strange….I’m an old man. I have more years behind me than ahead. I can’t help feeling it’s unnatural, when someone so young with so much time ahead of her…well, I guess that’s just the way it goes sometimes, isn’t it?”

This is the first time Miu has seen Mr. Weiss like this. Primally he communicates through grunts and grumbling. Cantankerous is the first word that comes to mind if Miu were to describe her boss. His brow is still furrowed, but his suspiciously narrowed eyes are remorseful.

“It’s good you’re making friends you know. Don’t spend all your time here or on your couch getting fatter.”

“Hey, you know I exercise. Besides, I’m on my feet a lot.” Miu argues.  _ “Why is everyone I know an asshole?” _

“Yoga doesn’t count.”

“Yes it does!”

Mr. Weiss waves his hand at her. “Do what you want. Just don’t slack off here.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Miu sticks her tongue out as Mr. Weiss takes his cue to return to his office.  _ “Cranky son of a bitch...he’s almost as bad as Hisoka.” _

It’s another thing that confuses Miu; she just doesn’t know what to make of half of what he says to her. One minute Hisoka is talking down to her, flippantly rude and teasing her until Miu’s ready to hit him. It’s not even so much what he’s saying that bothers Miu; it’s more the fact that he’s getting so much enjoyment out of it. It’s all the more puzzling that Miu ended up enjoying herself too.

Mr. Weiss keeps to himself for the most part. He pays Miu under the table and she doesn’t know his first name. He’s never told her and Miu’s never asked. She knows he has a soft spot for Katsumi, though Miu isn’t sure why, he is decent to her too. 

Katsumi was different of course; she told Miu everything and then some. She didn’t have friends. Katsumi couldn’t ride the bus alone and she would get paralyzed at the thought of being around strangers by herself. Miu did most of the things that required going outside; Katsumi never seemed to go anywhere but work. She was content to stay in the world they had created in their little apartment. 

It was hard though. Miu sometimes wondered if Katsumi secretly resented the burden of looking after her. Miu wasn’t always sure when Katsumi would be in one of her moods when anything might set off her temper. During these times, Miu would walk on eggshells to avoid upsetting her. She knew Katsumi never meant any of the hurtful things she would say. 

Miu is used to problems. She’s used to watching what she does and letting insults and harsh words roll off her back. Hisoka is unexplored territory. Miu doesn’t care what he thinks of her. She has no reason to please him or be mindful of how she behaves. 

Miu isn’t used to someone being so interested in her. When Miu speaks, she can see that Hisoka is giving her his undivided attention. It might be a ruse to get Miu off her guard; if she thinks Hisoka could care less what she says, then Miu might end up spilling her guts before she can realize what she’s doing. It’s beyond sneaky. 

The more Miu thinks about Hisoka, the more she thinks about the things he’s told her. She’s been thinking more about Katsumi too. Last night Miu dreamed she was alive and they were decorating the apartment with flowers. It’s a bit fuzzy in Miu’s memory, but she knows Katsumi was there with her and all the bouquets they had been placing on almost every surface. The dream had seemed more like a memory; Miu could barely bring herself to get out of bed. She just couldn’t believe she was waking up again like this.

It was a trial to get through work today. Miu counted the minutes until her shift was over. All Miu wants is to have a chance to be alone with her though. It’s funny: this is the exact thing Miu tries not to do. There’s too many opportunities for Miu’s mind to travel to places she wants to avoid.

The flowers by Katsumi’s memorial have begun to bloom just so. The petals are wider and the color is even brighter today. Miu stands in front of the dresser with a small smile; she slowly pulls out one of the roses from the others. The thorns almost scratch her skin, but the smell is just blissful.

“I can’t help it Katsumi. I can’t stop thinking about you and I can’t push down this feeling….I wish I could talk to you. I’ve been so restless lately, but I don’t know why. Nothing seems good enough anymore. It’s like when I really want to get up in the morning, but I just feel too comfortable. The only time I feel different is when I’m…”

Miu brings the flower to her nose. She can’t describe the scent if she had to. The only way Miu could is if she compared it to other things she enjoys: falling asleep to the sound of rainfall, the brightness of stars in winter, the taste of her favorite coffee paired with a delicious pastry.

“I wish you were here, but you probably wouldn’t have any answers either. We only had each other, for such a long time. I don’t think either of us even bothered to try to reach out to other people. I guess we were scared to be rejected again. Our own parents didn’t want us.…but just a few days ago, this crazy guy told me he came back to this crappy town to see me and I don’t know why. I can’t be that interesting.”

Miu arranges the roses to make room for the flower she had taken out. She makes a note to put in the rest of the plant food after she’s done clearing away the mess Hisoka had left behind. 

“Ouch.” Miu holds up her ring finger; there’s a tiny red scratch. “Stupid thorns. I should have clipped them before.”

It shouldn’t take long to fix up the living room. Miu will be nice and throw Hisoka’s clothes in the wash; when they’re done, she can store them in the closet for the time being. She doesn’t even know when Hisoka was going to come back for them.

_ “This fabric...is this silk?”  _ Miu raises an eyebrow at the pale pink shirt.  _ “I guess I can hang it up so it doesn’t wrinkle.” _ she brings it up to her face and sniffs the collar.  _ “What? Is that cologne? When did he put on cologne?” _

It only takes a second or two for Miu to realize what she’s doing. She has to fight the ridiculous urge to throw the shirt to the other side of the room. Miu settles for dropping it and slapping her hands to her cheeks with a groan.

“What am I doing?!” 

Miu wants to coil in on herself from embarrassment. It’s childish, but she feels her skin crawling, like someone just licked the palm of her hand or dropped a worm down her shirt. 

“Ugh, I wasn’t even thinking, gross!”

Thankfully, Miu is given a distraction to shake her from her mortification. Now that the couch is clear, it’s apparent that clothes weren’t the only thing Hisoka left behind. Right there on the cushion is a white envelope addressed to ‘Miu Morine’ in looping font. Miu can still feel her face burn, but her curiosity overweighs her shame. She tears one side of the envelope.

There’s enough money inside to pay for a month of Miu’s rent and then some. With a gaping mouth, she pulls out the bills along with a regular piece of paper.

Miu,

Call this rent for the weekend visit and then some for my charming ‘darling’. Can’t wait for next time! ♡

-Hisoka

The note is almost as surprising as the money. Folded in the creases is a pale purple petal; Miu pushes back her reservations to smell it’s fading scent. 

“A rose? I didn’t know roses could be purple. What an odd color.”

Miu takes the petal with her to her room. In the corners of her closet are things of Katsumi’s that she didn’t already donate. Some clothes and jewelry, a plush bear, an umbrella, and some books. Miu was never that big a reader, but what she did read was usually something Katsumi insisted she try. One of the things that fascinated Miu’s sister was flower language. Miu supposed it was interesting, but she didn’t see the point; she figured just telling someone something was easier than having to pick out specific flowers instead.

There’s a specific book Miu remembers for roses. Katsumi had told Miu that according to the book, red roses just didn’t mean romantic love, but respect and devotion. It doesn’t take long for Miu to flip through the pages to find the page for purple roses. 

Miu reads that the kind of rose she was given symbolizes enchantment; specifically, purple roses represent the kind of affection that comes from a magnetic pull to another person or love at first sight. Intense feelings that don’t last seems to be the general summary. Miu closes the book and puts it back with the others. 

“Well, I’m sure it doesn’t mean any of that. A crazy nut like Hisoka probably doesn’t even pay attention to stuff like this. I bet just thought it was a nice color or something.” Miu frowns. “Shit. I’m talking to myself. Maybe I’m the one who’s crazy. It’s contagious.”

That night, Miu puts the rose petal on her nightstand before she turns in. She doesn’t know where to put it. The tiny petal and the shadow of a crooked smile is the last thing Miu sees as she drifts off into an uneasy sleep.

.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	9. Chapter 9

It wasn’t enough to just begin to memorize boxing stances and moves. Before Miu could fully commit to the style, she had to get herself into shape. If she had to sum it up in one word, ‘grueling’ was the best fit. By the end of the first week, every muscle in Miu’s body was stiff and that was from taking things slow.

There really wasn’t any rush and Miu didn’t mind at all taking her time. Pound by pound, she increased the amount of how much she was able to lift in a given set. Miu learned about extending and breathing and the importance of stretching. On days she couldn’t lift with her arms, she used her legs and when her legs felt like they would give out, she switched to arms again. When Miu’s body couldn’t handle weight lifting, she jogged or even just went for walks. 

Miu copied the moves of the instructors she watched on her television screen. She would watch and then repeat. If something felt off, Miu would do it again and again until she was certain it was right. At the secondhand store Miu also combed the shelves for battered but still legible books and found herself doing something she hadn’t done in ten years.

It was unthinkable; all those years Miu never had trouble keeping up with her classes, but it was all done out of necessity. She didn’t care about anything the teachers tried to impress on her mind and it was all forgotten fairly quickly, but Miu never felt it was a loss.

Now every night before bed Miu read a new chapter, made a new scribble in her notes for her techniques, and it just branched out from there. Amateur boxing was Miu’s main focus; she read that it was supposedly the creation of an ancient civilization that attributed it to a deity known for music, poetry, and the sun. It also seems boxing goes by similar rules that Heaven’s Arena follows; losses are determined by either knockouts or disqualification. Before Miu knew it, she was pouring over more material than she had ever bothered to when she was a student.

Studying and training went hand in hand and both were about as exhausting. Miu wasn’t sure what kept her going at first. It might have been for a distraction or a change of pace. In the end, she supposed the main reason was no reason. By the time Miu is able to see clear definition in both her arms and legs and can lift over two hundred pounds over her head with ease, spring has turned into summer. It’s been over three months and Miu has stopped wondering when Hisoka will pay her that promised visit again and collect his things. 

In the back of her mind, he’s there though. When Miu is tempted to throw in the towel and questions what she’s doing, wasting time on this hobby; as Miu pushes herself a little more each day, she recalls Hisoka’s words. 

Today Miu had taken the bus right after work to take a trip to the market. It was an eerie experience to be there on a weekday afternoon. Miu hasn’t found the energy to go directly after a long shift; she doesn’t even need to shop for groceries yet, but currently Miu feels compelled to go all the same. The store is exactly the same of course; the same aisles, same food; nothing was noticeably different.

Miu takes her time browsing the shelves before finding herself at the flowers. The red rose bouquets were on sale, but this time Miu doesn’t make a beeline for them. This time, she pauses to look at the others. There were cheaper flowers like carnations and daisies and tulips of all colors. There were tiny boxes of violets and single orchids and decorative pots of geraniums and poppies. Miu turns her attention to the roses section and really looks over the selection. There’s single stems and bouquets and wreaths; the colors the roses come in are as varied as the other flowers. White and cream, yellow and peach, pinks and even blue. Miu actually feels pretty stupid for never noticing. She makes a note to pull out Katsumi’s books to look up some of them herself for reference.

“Can I help you?”

Miu almost jumps out of her skin. “Oh, no. I’m just looking.”

“Do you like our roses? We just got a new shipment.”   
“They’re nice.” 

Miu hopes the woman can’t see how hot her face is becoming. 

“Were there any in particular you wanted to get?”

“I was,” Miu berates herself for saying it outloud. “Do you have purple roses?”

“Yeah, they’re over there.” the woman points to the bouquet wedged between the blue and orange roses. “We only have one bouquet today though.”

Miu doesn’t know how she can tell the woman she didn’t mean to actually buy them. 

The woman smiles as Miu grabs the bouquet from the others. Miu can’t stop blushing; she almost feels like she’s being suckered into buying the flowers, even though no one is forcing her.

“Are you buying those for someone? They’re so pretty, right?” 

“Yeah.”

It’s been ten years since Miu has talked to anyone outside of Katsumi and her boss. This is just sad. She’s never even properly spoken to staff at the supermarket she goes to at least once a month.

“Purple roses are so romantic, even more than red ones.” 

The florist’s name is Aina. Miu tries to read her name tag discreetly.

“Really?”

“Purple roses symbolize highly spiritual love. I guess it’s like having a soulmate.”

“A what?” Miu frowns. “What’s that?”

“You don’t…? Um, I guess,” Aina pauses. “I guess it’s a friend, but more?”

“More?”

“Someone special to you, I guess. They inspire you...they accept you and you accept them.” Aina shrugs. “At least, that’s what I’ve always heard about it.”

“Oh.”

Aina looks at Miu strangely. “So, did you want these?”

“Yeah. And the red ones.”

“Do you want them in the same bag?”

“Sure, thanks.”

“You look familiar.” Aina tears a large plastic covering out from the wrapping containers. “You don’t go to the city university, do you?”

“Oh, no. I’ve never even been there.”

“Really?” Aina asks. “I’m starting a semester there in a few months. I’m taking botany courses.”

“What?”

“Basically studying plants. I really wasn’t sure what I wanted to study until I started working here. This was just supposed to be a way to get extra money; I never expected to get so invested in what I do.”

“That’s nice.” Miu wouldn’t know personally about anything Aina’s saying, but she doesn’t need to tell this stranger her life story.

“My parents wanted me to study something like medicine or law, but what’s the point in that?” Aina selects a ribbon to tie the flowers together in the bag. 

“Well...I don’t know about botany, but jobs in medicine in law make a lot of money.” Miu reasons. “I can see why they’d want you to take classes for them.”

“Is that what you’d go to college for? Just to get a job and make money?”

“Isn’t that what college is for?” 

Miu wishes she hadn’t said anything; after all, she just came in to buy flowers, but this Aina is looking at her like she’s the weird one. Miu doesn’t understand how she got caught up talking to someone about a topic that doesn’t have anything to do with her. It’s not like Miu will ever go to school; she probably wouldn’t be able to get into any college anyway and she doesn’t want to. It’s not necessary. 

“Sure, but it’s not the only reason to go.” Aina purses her lips. “I mean, what do you plan to do when you take classes?”

“Study.” Miu doesn’t bother to mention all the reasons why this scenario doesn’t apply to her. Aina doesn’t seem to be listening. 

“And then?”

“Then what?”

Aina raises an eyebrow. “What else will you do?”

“What else…?” Miu frowns; it feels like they’re going in circles. “That’s all. I mean, that’s why people go.”

“Sure,” Aina looks exasperated when she hands over the bagged bouquets. “But come on, there’s more to life than studying.”

Miu carefully takes the flowers into her arms so she doesn’t bruise the petals. “But I have to study to do well.”

“That’s all fine, but what about having a good time?” 

“Having...a good time?”

“Having a good time.” Aina repeats with a grin. “Come on, don’t tell me you don’t know how to have fun?”

Miu brings the flowers closer to her face. “These smell nice. Thanks, see ya.”

  
  
  


Miu had walked off quickly to the registers, all the while feeling like something of a fool. She really could have waited until her usual time to visit the store; the awkward conversation could have been avoided entirely. Granted, Miu suspects she was the only one who felt tense during the exchange; Aina seemed almost eager to talk to share her thoughts to a perfect stranger, but then, maybe it’s just Miu. She wouldn’t know the first thing about holding a normal conversation with anyone. Hisoka didn’t count; he was clearly a hundred times more unhinged than anyone Miu had ever met. His comments were bold and uncaring of who cared to hear what he had to say.

Miu takes the withered roses out of Katsumi’s old seasoning jar. After Miu places the new red roses in the old jars, she folds her hands, unsure what else to do with them while she’s speaking. 

“Hey.”

The space Miu’s reserved for Katsumi’s memorial has been moved to a cabinet in the living room. With the money Miu received from Hisoka, she’s been able to make something of a savings. She did splurge a little and her main purchase was relatively recent. 

It was different. Miu slept easier, but now when she came home, the first thing she would see was Katsumi’s face. She would glance over at the memorial while she was watching TV, training, studying, cooking, and cleaning. It was a new routine; at night Miu would say goodnight as she switched off the lights. In the morning she greets the picture with a small smile; when Miu left for work, she gave the space a little wave. 

The unexpected thing is, Miu doesn’t feel constricted by this new routine. She thought keeping Katsumi out in the open would bring on negative feelings, but it was the exact opposite. Instead of spending energy on containing memories of her sister to almost nothing, Miu was allowing her thoughts of Katsumi to weave in and out of her daily life. 

It could be something so small and insignificant. Shelving Katsumi’s cookbooks on the kitchen counter, eating a meal they had shared, even visiting the cafe that they used to go to. It was like each day Miu would let herself receive another gift Katsumi had left to remember her by. 

“It only took ten years, but I guess it’s better late than never. I’m sorry. I stopped living when you died. I knew you didn’t want that. But I didn’t want you to die either. you know.”

In reality, Miu recognizes she sounds borderline insane trying to converse with a photograph surrounded by trinkets and flowers for someone who can’t enjoy them. It doesn’t matter. It’s all she can do now.

“I would have done anything for you; even I had to spend everyday wondering when or if you would try to hurt yourself again. Losing you just meant trading in one pain for another. But the thing is, I just wanted you here, no matter what you did. No one else in the whole world ever loved me. Including me.”

Katsumi must have believed in some dark place that Miu might be better off. Maybe she thought it would be easier for Miu to not have to deal with her mentally ill, unstable sister who routinely had breakdowns and lashed out at nothing. It was possible in her warped mind that Miu would move on and start a new life without any burdens. 

“You were wrong. I didn’t want to go on...but I didn’t want to die either. I guess you could say I did the next best thing. But I’m not the same person I was last year. I still miss you so much, but now it’s...it’s almost like that pain is driving me forward. Something’s changing me.”

This restlessness that’s been gnawing at Miu for months is finally being tempered. Every day is a challenge; sometimes Miu lapses and she lets it happen. She stays in bed too long, she eats too much junk, or she refuses to acknowledge her own pain. It lasts for a day or so and then Miu forces herself to wake up. The off days are less frequent than the productive ones, so Miu figures she must be doing okay. She’s purposefully using her time and trying to vent this feeling she has into her practice and finding new ways to understand boxing. It’s something Katsumi would have wanted for Miu; she would be happy to see her little sister hard at work and enjoying it for her own benefit.

Miu takes one of her taller plastic cups and fills it with water for the purple roses; this time she remembers to trim the thorns off the stems. She’s already decided to put them on her bedside table. It will be nice to wake up to flowers, no matter what the world outside looks like. With a faint half smile, Miu traces the edges of one of the rose petals with a feather light touch.

“Hm...having a good time, huh?”

  
  
  



End file.
